


What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make

by gatergirl79



Series: Unrequited Sabriel [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Baby Samandriel, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, No Beta, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Love, love-hate relationship, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-10 22:18:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatergirl79/pseuds/gatergirl79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another instalment of the Unrequited Sabriel Universe. Following on from Chimes at Midnight. Gabriel is haunted by his past in the wake of Samandriel's birth, while struggling to keep his distance from Sam. But with Lucifer putting on the pressure, Gabriel is called upon for help. A call he can't resist, and will cost him his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story covers the time period from Abandon All Hope to Hammer of the Gods.   
> You do need to read Chimes At Midnight before this, or you’re going to be completely confused.   
> Yes, my insane head-canon is that Samandriel is the son of Sam and Gabriel. 
> 
> Notes: Gabriel thinks of Samandriel by his angel name, but calls him Alfie because that’s the name he and Katherine agreed on. 
> 
> This beginning part was inspired by a book I’m reading called Fallen Angels and the Origins of Evil by Elizabeth Clare Prophet. It’s a very interesting book and has inspired a few of my stories.

_The screams and cried echoed in his ears. Louder than he thought possible. He stared past the weeping wives and mothers as they pleaded for the abominations lives. When he began, when his father had set him this task, he hadn’t heard their words. Why would he heed the daughters of men who dare seduce the purity of heaven’s host? But the more soiled his hands became, the clearer those cries were. It was almost over though. They were almost free of the tainted humanity. Just a single child. One last wailing babe in his mother’s arms. Gabriel towered over them both, his determined dark eyes, steel like in their coldness, flickering over the pair. His fingers tightened around his blade, sticky and uncomfortably warm beneath the fingers of his vessel. His eyes met the woman’s as she pulled her child closer as if wanting to return him to her body where he’d be safe._

_“Why do you hesitate brother?” a voice asked from the ether. Gabriel turned slightly, frowning. He didn’t know. His hands were already stained with so much blood, what was one more? One last abomination. Gabriel raised his blade, his intent focused. With one last look at the pair he brought this hand down, the dying firelight gleaming off the blade._

Gabriel flew up straight in the bed, panting. Sweat clinging to his blazing flesh. This was why he preferred not to sleep. Too much history. Too many lives. - Too much blood on his hands. Throwing back the covers, he swung his legs free and padded out of the room, walking almost impossibly slowly down the corridor.

He tugged on the string and winced at the sudden brightness of the bathroom light. Padding over to the basin, he glanced up into the mirror, looking at his reflection with disgust. He’d pushed that time out of his mind for so long. So far back that he’d almost forgotten it. When it did rear its ugly head it was more like a dream trying to be remembered. But over the past few days, since Samandriel’s birth, it had been clear. A phantom haunting his every waking and sleeping moment. Whenever he looked at his son he saw the countless sons and daughters he’d wiped from the face of the earth without a moments pause. - Well, almost.

Bending Gabriel turned on the cold faucet, throwing the icy coldness of the water into his face while forcing himself to breath and forget once more. But a voice echoed in the back of his head. Not Dylan. One older and further away. In the past. The voice of a long disowned brother.

_“This is not right. You know it is not right brother. He demanded we love them and now punishes us for it. If you must have my life, then take it but spare my son. He’s innocent. Pure. Please brother, spare my son.”_

Gabriel clenched his eyes closed as the echoed of screaming mothers and silenced children ring in his ears. His heart pounding desperately in his chest. Despite being coated in cold water his hands felt warm and tacky. He couldn

’t open his eyes, fearful of seeing the blood there once more.

Inhaling slowly and groaning at the pain in his chest and head he straightened, turning away from the mirror and allowing his feet to carry him to his son’s bedside. He knelt down beside the crib, the soft glow of the nightlight bringing out the blond in Samandriel’s hair. It wouldn’t be like that for ever, Gabriel could already see it beginning to darken. Eventually it would matched that of his fathers. Reaching thought the bars he ran his fingers throw the cotton softness. “I won’t let you pay for my sins, Sammy.” Gabriel whispered. “They’ll never find you.”

Samandriel made a soft wet noise, his lips pressing together gently in his sleep. Sighing softly, Gabriel got back to his feet, leaning over the side of the crib to press a kiss to the baby’s head. “Night, Jelly Bean.”

Samandriel made a gentle sniffle before falling quiet and Gabriel turned away from the crib, heading for the door. He paused on the threshold for another few moments, watching his son sleep, before heading back down the corridor to his room.

Retrieving the covers he’d thrown free of his heated body in his rush to be out of the bed, Gabriel crawled back in, settling back against the cold sheets. For a moment he stared up at the ceiling, watching the lights from the streetlamps create terrifying shadows that looked uncomfortably like wings. Inhaling sharply Gabriel closed his eyes and turning onto his side. When he opened them once again, it was to stare forlornly at the empty place beside him.

He’d considered summon ring up a warm solid body to curl into and hide from the nightmare, but it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be the real thing. Just a fantasy. An illusion. Smoke and mirrors that would only wind up making him feel worse than he already did. He’d come to the conclusion the previous night that the worst punishment for his sins was not the ghost that haunting him, but the irony of the whole thing. Here he was, the angel who’d punished his brothers for falling in love with mortal women by slaying their sons and daughters, in love with a mortal man, fighting to protect their child from the same fate.

 


	2. Prison of My Own Making

Gabriel knew something was wrong the second Samandriel froze in the center of the room. They’d been playing chase, Samandriel running wild around Katherine’s living room. Scrambling over the couch on his small chubby leg, declaring himself “Home!” with a wide grin that hit Gabriel in the chest every time he saw it. It was so much like Sam’s. Then suddenly there was silence. Samandriel’s face going pal and his small body beginning to tremble slightly. Gabriel dropped to his knees in a second, clasping his son’s face between his hands. “Jelly Bean? - Hey, Alfie?” he voice slight shaking with fear and concern. He glanced around the room when the little boy didn’t speak. Checking the sigils were still in place, protecting them from Heaven. Inhaling slowly when he saw they were. “Alfie, what’s wrong?” Gabriel pressed once again. His eyes scanning over his son from head to toe. “You have to tell me what’s wrong?”

Gabriel’s heart was pounding brutally against his ribs as he stared at his little boy. It had only been a month since he’d had him. One month, though you wouldn’t know it to look at the child. Samandriel hadn’t grown like a normal human child. One month and he looked four years old. It was the joys of the supernatural, or maybe it was the divine? He wasn’t sure. Eventually he’d start aging normal, then no one would know what he was, but until then it was a constant heavy weight of fear on Gabriel’s shoulders. Because if his brothers discovers Samandriel’s existence, they’d kill him.

“Alfie.” he shook him a little by the shoulders and was hit with a wave of guilt when the little boy began to cry. Large fat tears rolling down his flushed chubby cheeks. Gabriel swiped them away with his thumb, swallowing back his own heartbreak.

It took a few more moments before Gabriel realized the cause of his son’s sudden sadness and when he did his breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t his own pain Samandriel was feeling but Sam’s. Gabriel knew there was a chance the boy would be able to sense his father, just a Gabriel could feel Samandriel and his brothers. It wouldn’t be clear, not like the boy was actually feeling the pain; it was more of a shadow of whatever Sam was feeling. If Samandriel was older probably wouldn’t have even noticed it. It would just have been something he knew. But he was still so young; he didn’t even know what he was.

Pulling the boy to him, Gabriel pressed his face into Samandriel’s golden hair, inhaling deeply as he tried to calm the weeping child. Reaching out with his own bond to try and counter the hurt Samandriel was feeling. “It’s okay Kiddo. You’re alright.” he whispered against the boys head. Rocking back and forth on his knees, never releasing his grip on his son, even as he wondered what was happening to Sam.

 

**~~~~~~**

 

It had been a month since Sam Winchester had marched furiously out of Katherine’s apartment, shouting threats of holy fire if he so much as laid an eye on Gabriel again. Since then he’s had Samandriel, and settled into a bizarre domesticity with his ex-vessel Katherine. He hadn’t contacted Sam since that night, not because he feared the barbeque, but because he didn’t think he’d be able to be within five feet of the Winchester without either punching him or kissing him. - Which would undoubtedly lead to Sam punching him. - So he hadn’t told Sam about their son. Katherine had tried to get him to. Told him Sam would want to know. Gabriel didn’t think so. Not now, not with everything spiralling out of control in the world. Sam had more than enough on his plate without being told he’d fathered a child with the angel turned trickster he despised so much. Katherine had continued to argue for the whole of twenty minutes but she knew him as well as Dylan. - His current vessel. - She knew he could be incredibly stubborn. Especially when it came to Sam Winchester.

 

**~~~~~~**

 

Gabriel lifted Samandriel off his feet and carried him to the couch, lowering them both down gently. He settled the boy against his chest, combing his fingers through the cotton soft hair as he closed his eyes, allowing his head to fall back against the cushions.

He knew his brother was planning to release Death. Which undoubtedly meant Sam and his bonehead brother would try to stop him. He had no idea what they were planning but it was bound to fail, because that was just their luck. When he’d heard about Lucifer’s plan on the grapevine, - The grapevine being tapping into angel radio from a safe and secure location. - He’d considered going to see Sam. Offer his help maybe. Trying to stop them from doing whatever stupid pointless thing they had planned. He’d even tried contacting Castiel. - But his baby brother wasn’t answer his calls, and he knew that if he showed his face either Sam or Dean would turn him into a pin cushion, - Sam had made that _very_ clear before he’d left. - And not with a worthless wooden stake. So he’d stayed away.

Now though he wished he hadn’t, because obviously something had happened. He knew it couldn’t be Sam, Lucifer would never kill him, he needed him. And he doubted it was Dean either, Lucifer needed him too. So what was it? Shifting Alfie in his lap, he looked down at him. “It’s okay Jelly Bean. Just let it go.” he shushed, his hand rubbing comforting circles into Samandriel’s back, listening as he claimed and his eyes fluttered closed. A moment later Samandriel was asleep peacefully in Gabriel arms. He got to his feet carefully and carried his son into his bedroom, laying him beneath the blue blanket on his small bed.

Stepping back into the living room Gabriel had to fight not to leave. His instincts battling, as they always did when it involved Sam. Part of him wanted to fly off, make sure Sam was alright, but he knew it would be a bad idea. That Sam wouldn’t welcome him. The louder instinct told him he had to stay. He couldn’t leave his son alone. And he was meant to be keeping a low profile. Now his brothers knew of his existence he was a wanted man, and he couldn’t risk them finding Samandriel.

He lowered himself back onto the couch and closed his eyes. He tried to zero in on what was happening. He wouldn’t be able to find Sam or Dean, thanks to his baby brother’s anti-angel warding. Neither would he be able to locate Lucifer. Big bro always knew how to cover his tracks. But maybe he could find Cass, because he was in no doubt the angel would be with the brothers. Castiel was as bad as him when it came to a certain Winchester.

But no. Wherever they were, they were off the grid. Gabriel opened his eyes, swallowing the acid taste settling on his tongue. He stared out the window, the sun making its way towards the horizon, nightfall not far off. Katherine would be home soon from the school.

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

“Are you going to see if he’s alright?” Katherine asked from beside him in the kitchen.

“Right. I’ll just pop over and see shell I. - You forgotten the part about him promising to kill me if he ever saw me again?” Gabriel grumbled popping a slice of carrot into his mouth.

 _“Come on, Gabe. He was pissed.”_ Dylan reminded him sharply from the back of his head.

“No one’s asking you.” Gabriel murmured to himself.

“Dyl thinks you should go too, doesn’t he?” Katherine smirked.

“Seriously, sometimes its like have multiple personality disorder with you two.” Gabriel snapped, rubbing at his temple. Katherine and Dylan chuckled. Though only one of them made Gabriel’s head hurt.

“But he’s right.” Katherine sighed. “I’m sure Sam’s calmed down by now.”

Dylan scoffed in his head, and Gabriel echoed it into the kitchen.

“Highly unlikely. This is Sam Winchester we’re talking about. That guy holds grudges. Believe me. - That’s how we got into this mess.” he pointed at the TV across the room, where the news was reporting about the sudden increase of bushfires and floods.

“So wave a white flag.” Katherine pressed, ignoring pointedly the disaster unfolding on screen. “Maybe tell him about Alfie.”

“Not a good idea. - Not yet. Not with my brothers out there. They’ll find out and….” he shook his head.

“You’re not telling your brothers Gabriel, you’re telling Sam he has a son. He has a right to know.” she stated flatly.

“Look, Kath, we’ve been through this…” he snapped frustratingly. “If Lucifer wants to he can get into Sam’s head. - And if he finds out about Alfie, he’ll use him. Until Lucifer is dealt with Sam can’t know.”

“It just doesn’t feel right, Gabe.” Katherine sighed miserable.

“He’ll understand. - He won’t forgive me, but he’ll understand.”

The pair fell quiet as they moved around the kitchen together. Gabriel had taken up residence in Katherine’s apartment after Samandriel’s birth, partly to keep them both safe, but mostly so he could be close to his son. Spend as much time with him before the inevitable happened and he was drawn into the fight he’d been trying so hard to avoid. A fight he’d always known was going to cost him his life. One way or another.

It wasn’t the first time Gabriel had taken a break and dropped out. Every few centuries he found a place to just exist. He’d inevitably get bored or someone would do something that pulled him out of his semi-retirement, but for a while he got to be normal and recharge his batteries. This was the first time however he actually had a reason to step out of the firing line. But he also had a reason to leap right back into it.

“Do you think Sam’s okay?” Katherine asked quietly. She had no real memory of what had happened while she’s leant her body to Gabriel. He’s made sure of that. That was between him and Sam. But she remembered him vaguely from the few days back in high school after Gabriel had split town. After that first kiss. And she knew his feelings from the man.

“Well Alfie hasn’t had another breakdown, so let’s hope.”

“Maybe you should go and find out.” she pressed once more. Sometimes she was like a fucking dog with a bone.

 _“I really think we should Gabe. - I don’t like not knowing.”_ Dylan added insistently. Unlike Katherine, Dylan knew Sam. Gabriel had share more with his current vessel than with any before. Dylan may even share Gabriel’s feelings for the hunter, in a symbiotic way.

Grunting, Gabriel dropped his knife and glared at the woman in front of him.

“Just so we know.” she said with concern. “You don’t have to talk to him. He doesn’t even need to see you.”

 _“It’s not like it’ll be the first time you spied on him without him knowing, man.”_ Dylan added unhelpfully.

God, sometimes he hated vessels. “I should have kept you locked in a dark black cage and never let you see the light of day.” he snapped to Dylan. “He’s on your side, obviously.” Gabriel clarified, when Katherine looked at him strangely.

She grinned. “That’s because he’s smarter than you.” she scoffed. “So, you’re going”?

Gabriel watched his ex-vessel for a long moment. “I’ll drop by Singer’s place.” he sighed. “He’ll probably be there.”

Katherine smiled triumphantly. “Good.”

“You don’t have to look so smug about it. - I’m just going to see he hasn’t gotten himself killed. Though my big bro wants him alive, so that’s really not an option.”

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

It was a bad idea. He knew that the moment he’d arrived in front of the broken down house. All the lights were on, and he watched as Dean marched though the kitchen, looking like shit. So at least he knew one of the brothers was alive. He couldn’t see Sam inside the house and his chest tightened. But then he told himself Dean didn’t look that much like shit. If Sam had said yes, well Dean wouldn’t be stood at the kitchen counter drinking beer.

Taking a deep fill of cold air Gabriel entering the house, invisible to all. Thankfully Castiel wasn’t there; he’d be the only one who’d be alerted by his angelic presence. Standing in the alcove that separate kitchen from the study/living room, Gabriel watched. Sam was sat in a chair by the fire, his head in his hand. The misery rolling off him in waves. But all Gabriel could feel was relief. Dean walked past him, waving a bottle at Sam, who took it without argument. His eyes were red, Gabriel noticed as he lifted his head. The fire was burning behind them, filling the room with stifling warmth. Drawn forward, Gabriel caught sight of a photo, curling up and turning to ash in the flames. He craned his neck to see what it was, and inadvertently brushed up against Sam’s arm. He froze as the hunter stiffened; his head snapping up to stare directly at Gabriel, though the trickster archangel knew the younger man couldn’t see him.

Gabriel’s fingers itched to reach out. Offer comfort. His arm rising before he caught himself and drew back sharply. Releasing another heavy sigh. He jumped when Sam leapt to his feet, hovering over him. He held his breath, his eyes locked on Sam.

“I need some air.” the hunter announced, turning from his brother and Bobby.

Gabriel watched him leave the room, stopping in the kitchen for a moment to grab a bottle of whiskey before angrily marching out of into the night. Gabriel knew he should leave. He’d only come to reassure himself, Dylan and Katherine that Sam was alive. Instead he found his feet carrying him after the taller man, out of the house and through the maze of cars to the large garage at the back of the property. Standing outside in the dark, he closed his eyes. If he was going in there, he was going alone.

“You okay with that?” he asked Dylan silently.

 _“Sure thing, man.”_ the vessel replied, a smile in the voice. _“Good luck.”_

“I’m gonna to need it.” with that Gabriel secured the cage. Locking Dylan away behind silence and warm, as he’d done with Katherine.

He hovered in the entrance watching as Sam sat on a stool and opened the bottle of Jack Daniels. He watched as he drowned his guilt and sorrow in alcohol. The minutes ticking by.

“I know your there.” Sam suddenly announced. His voice raw from sadness and whiskey.

Gabriel’s breath caught in his throat as he stepped out of the shadows and made himself visible.

“What are you doing here?” Sam demanded harshly. Never lifting his gaze from the dirt floor. “I told you I’d kill you if I ever saw you again.”

“And yet.” Gabriel scoffed. “I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t done something stupid.”

Finally Sam looked at him, his eyes narrow and dangerous. Gabriel ignored the intensity of Sam’s hazel eyes and moved further into the garage, making sure to keep Dean’s precious Impala between them. He made his way over to the work bench, leaping up to perch on the surface, his legs swings childishly back and forth. They sat in silence for a long while. The only sound filling the room was that of Sam’s whiskey bottle being raised and lowered, and them breathing.

“Why’d you do it?” Sam murmured, his voice beginning to slur.

Gabriel glanced up from the pile of odds and ends he’d been fidgeting with. “Why’d I do what Sammy? I’ve done a lot of things.” he’d decided to keep his tone light, pretend he didn’t care. That he was as cold as the Winchesters thought him.

“ _Don’t_ call me Sammy! - You know what I’m talking about. New York?”

Gabriel swallowed. Inhaling slowly through his nose. His eyes locked on the younger man.

“I thought you didn’t want to hear my excuses?” he scoffed.

Sam grunted and took another mouthful of whiskey.

“Besides…” Gabriel added, trying to distract himself from the movement of Sam’s throat and the erotic images that were taunting his mind. “….You wouldn’t believe me.”

“Probably not.” Sam agreed.

They were silent again after that. Gabriel would expect it to be uncomfortable, considering, but it wasn’t. It felt…..relaxed. Easy. - The only down side being they were sitting in a garage instead of in the house, on a comfy sofa. Gabriel didn’t know why he broke it. “I’m sorry about your friends.”

Sam scoffed, shooting the archangel a disbelieving look.

“I don’t need your sympathy.” he spat.

Oh right. That’s why. Because he liked arguing and bickering with Sam. “I can’t stop him you know. - Lucifer.”

Sam met his gaze full on.

“Have you even tried?” he demanded.

Gabriel stared into those broken hazel eyes and grew angry. “Yes! But you wouldn’t listen to me!” he snapped defensively. He wasn’t letting Sam pile this shit at his door. He’d tried. “Like every other damn human you just ignored my warnings.”

“Maybe you should have been clearer!” Sam argued back.

“You mean tell you right out that that demonic whore you were screwing was going to screw you, and turn you into a fucking junkie? That you were destin to be my big brothers prom dress? Huh, and you’d have believe me?” Gabriel shook his head.

Sam was on his feet in a second, marching furiously toward him. “ _Maybe_ if you’d told me who you _really_ were!” he yelled. Getting closer. “Maybe if you’d told me before all of this!”

Gabriel locked gazes with Sam, unflinching.

“You mean when you were fourteen and didn’t want anything to do with this life?” he waved a hand at nothing.

“ _Yes_! Instead you manipulated me! You lied to me! - You let me…..” he cut himself off, throwing the half empty bottle of Jack across the room to shatter into a million pieces.

Gabriel flinched despite himself. “I was hiding. It’s not like I planned to cross paths with you. - Besides you hit on me, remember?” he reminded the younger man with a smirk. “ _You_ kissed _me_.”

“I was fourteen and I thought you were….”

“A girl?” Gabriel raised a brow questioningly. “I’m technically neither, we’re genderless. Ask Cassie.”

Sam looked the angel from top to tow, disgust printed on his face, instantly rising Gabriel’s heckles.

“

And may I remind you, Mr high and mighty, that you knew exactly who I was when you were buried ball deep inside me a month ago.” he spat.

Sam’s face tightened furiously. His lips a thin white line. His whole body sharking with repressed anger.

Gabriel smirked, shifting closer to the edge of the workbench, his eyes heavy and his voice low. “Just imagine what it’ll feel like in this….”

Gabriel’s back hit the wall at an odd angle as Sam flew at him. He didn’t even get to call out before Sam’s mouth was on his. His tongue invading every corner of Gabriel’s mouth. Closing his eyes the angel gave himself over to the intense punishing kiss. Savouring every sweep of Sam’s tongue. He curled his fingers into the hunters hair, tugging on the over long strands just has he’d done a month earlier. He’d happily confess he loved Sam’s hair. Sam wasn’t touching him, instead the hunters palms pressed down onto the work top.

After a few minutes of intense kissing, Gabriel shifted his mouth, breaking the kiss to gasp in air as he dragged his sensitive lips down the column of Sam’s throat. Sucking, licking, biting. Listening as Sam’s breath caught. A low moans rumbled up from his chest. He dropped his hands from Sam’s hair and slipped them beneath his shirt, needing to remind himself of the delicious feel of the man’s muscle against his palm.

And like that it was over. Gabriel’s touch seemed to be like ice cold water. Sam reared back, his hands scrubbing at his mouth like he’d just kissed a corpse. He stumbled backwards, his eyes burning dangerously into Gabriel’s, like he’d been the one to make the first move. Like Sam hadn’t been perfectly happy ten seconds ago with his tongue down the archangel’s throat.

“What the hell do you think your doing?” Sam yelled.

“Me? Hey pal, you kissed me! - _Again_!” Gabriel shouted back, leaping off the workbench, wishing the ice cold effect that had seemed to shock Sam out of his aroused state had worked on him. He stalked towards Sam. “Don’t act like the fucking innocent party here Sammy.” he growled.

“Don’t call….”

“You kissed me!” Gabriel interrupted. “Just like you took me to bed, even though you knew who I really was.”

“No I didn’t!” Sam yelled, stand his ground and staring down at the trickster archangel.

“Maybe not at the beginning, but that last time, before you lost your shit and ran for the hills, you knew it was me, and you still fucked me into the mattress. - In fact…..” he took another step forward, shrinking the gap between them to barely an inch. “…you were more enthusiastic that last time. So tell me, _Sammy_ , how long have you wanted to fuck me?”

Sam’s fist connected with Gabriel’s jaw and instantly the hunter cried out in pain, cradling his fist while shooting death glares at the archangel. Gabriel however just stood there, watching Sam. His own pain remaining beneath the surface. It wasn’t from the punch, he’d barely felt that, it came from the hate in Sam’s eyes when he’d thrown it. The young hunter had never looked at him like that before. Not even when he’d marched out of Katherine’s apartment a month previous.

“Sammy!”

Gabriel turned at the sound of the approaching familiar voice. Part of him wanted to stay. Tell Dean-o just what his precious baby brother had been doing a few moments ago. He turned back to Sam and saw the blind panic, and knew he couldn’t do it. Inhaling sharply he lifted his chin. “Enjoy life Sammy. What’s left of it.” he spat before vanishing.

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

Gabriel landed on Katherine’s couch with a grunt. His head hitting the back with a loud thumb but he didn’t feel it. His heart was still racing, his face slightly stinging from the phantom sensation of Sam’s punch, and his chest was aching so much he wasn’t sure he was even breathing. He’d been a fucking idiot; he should never have listened to Katherine and Dylan. He’d known it was going to end badly.

“Gabriel? - Gabe, what’s wrong?” Katherine said, rushing towards the archangel.

“Fucking Winchesters!” he spat furiously.

“Shit. Is…..Sam alright? What happened?” she pleaded, dropping onto the edge of the coffee table, her hands comfortingly on his knees.

“The son of a bitch is fine.” Gabriel answered harshly. His face tight with repressed anger. “I’m fucking tempted to drop him in a black hole, but _he_ _’s_ fine.” he growled.

“Gabe, what happened?” Katherine demanded.

“The bastard kissed me.” he snarled, looking up to meet his ex-vessel’s concerned gaze. “Then….then fucking bastard punched me.”

Katherine‘s face fell, sighing sadly. “Oh….Gabriel I….” she shook her head. “I’m sorry.” she whispered.

Gabriel amber eyes softened apologetically. Inhaling slowly he shifted closer to the edge of the couch. “I need to clear my head. Maybe take out my frustrations on unsuspecting dickheads. If you need me, call.” he leant forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek before getting to his feet. “I’ll just go say goodnight to Alfie.”

Katherine nodded, watching him leave with a heavy heart.

Gabriel stood in the doorway of his son’s room, staring at the boy that looked so much like Sam it hurt. But he wouldn’t change him. Samandriel was the only good thing he’d gotten from Sam ‘fucking’ Winchester. Stepping over the threshold, he perched on the edge of the bed and pressed a kiss to the boys head. “Goodnight, kiddo. - I love you.”


	3. First Flurries of Snow

Gabriel spent the next few months doing what he did best, punishing asshole. And if those punishments were a little harsher than usual, well you could blame Sam Winchester. He knew he should be keeping a low profile, his brothers were still looking for him, but it seemed that they were more focused on the Winchesters, and Lucifer. Not that Gabriel was complaining.

He was stood behind a bar in Florida watching another love cheat pick up a girl half his age and barely legal, while his nine month pregnant wife was at home crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry, when the call came.

A whispered plea in the back of his mind. A familiar voice that had haunted his dreams for months. He dropped the glass he was cleaning at the suddenness of it. He flushed as the patrons cheered his clumsiness and tried to ignore it. He wasn’t going to go running because Sam asshole Winchester suddenly wanted him. He wasn’t the hunters bitch.

He turned to his boss and announced he was taking his break. Grabbing a glass of scotch, he settled into a dark corner booth and closed his eyes.

“Gabriel. I know you can hear me. I want you.”

Gabriel clenched his jaw, his fingers tightened around the glass to the point of shattering it. He knew the hunter didn’t want him like that. He probably needed his help with something. It was probably to punch him some more.

“Gabriel. Just….please.”

Gabriel swallowed at the broken plea in the man’s voice. He tried to fight it. Tried to tell himself he was making a huge mistake but he couldn’t find the strength to do the right thing. Katherine would drag him over the coals for this.

Following the sound of Sam’s prayer Gabriel appeared in the darkened corner of a motel room. The only light coming from the flashing neon vacancy sign outside. Despite the darkness he could see clearly. So very clearly. Sam sat bent double on the edge of the motel bed, his head in his hands. He looked like hell. Gabriel could practically smell the whiskey on his breath from across the room. An alarm went off in the back of his mind that told him to leave. That this wasn’t going to end well. - _Again._

Instead he inhaled slowly and took a step forward. “Sam?” he murmured stiffly.

Sam’s head snapped up to fix him with a wide eyed watery gaze. “What are you doing here?” he demanded.

“You called me.” Gabriel replied coldly. His hands buried deep in the pocket of his jacket.

“I…..did.” Sam nodded, turning his gaze back to the floor.

“Where’s Dean?” Gabriel asked, glancing around the room as if Dean would appear suddenly.

“Back at the motel.”

Gabriel couldn’t help the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “Really.” he huffed. “And they kicked you out?” he chuckled. “Or are we running away from home again?”

“No. - I didn’t want him to know about……this.”

Gabriel raised a questioning brow. “This? - And what exactly is _This_?”

“Me asking you for help.” Sam all by whispered.

Gabriel took a deep breath. He’d known hadn’t he? Why was he so surprised? Did he really expect Sam to have called him here for some kind of romantic meal or maybe another round of hot and heavy? He shook his head at the ridiculousness of his own wishful heart and turned his back on the hunter. “With what exactly?” he asked icily.

“Ending this.” Sam relied.

“You think I can do that?” Gabriel chuckled humourlessly. “I mean I could kill you, hide your body in the highest peak of outer Mongolia.”

Sam sighed, liked he’d already considered that option. Gabriel stomach knotted painfully. “He’d just find me. - Anna wanted to kill me and scatter my cells….” he added absently.

“Anna?” Gabriel growled angrily, spinning to stare at Sam. “When?”

“About a month ago.” Sam sighed and the room fell silent.

Gabriel lent back against the dresser facing Sam, his stomach in knots. He’d never liked Anna. She’d always struck him a self-righteous and hypocritical. She’d been on the front lines in the hunter for their fallen brothers, scolding them for their sins and then she’d went and fallen herself. - But then hadn’t he done the same thing? People in glass houses and all that.

“He doesn’t care.” Sam said suddenly. His voice little more than a whispered. “He says it’s not his problem.”

Gabriel frowned down at the hunter. “What now?”

“God.”

“You talking to God now Sammy?” Gabriel asked blandly.

“Joshua.” Sam clarified. Not even rising to the bait.

Gabriel moved towards Sam… “Uh. - Well I could have save you the trip.” closing the gap between them. To have spoken to Joshua, Sam must have paid a visit to heaven. A sick feeling rolled in his gut. Sam had died and he hadn’t even known.

“We haven’t heard from Cass in Days. Dean’s a mess.”

“As apposed to when he isn‘t?” Gabriel whispered lightly.

Sam glared up at him. “How about instead of being an asshole, you do something?” he snapped sharply.

“I am doing something Sammy. I’m getting on with my life and avoiding the pile of shit _you_ landed us in.” he huffed angrily, taking a step away from the hunter.

Sam was on his feet, glaring at the archangel. “Right. I forgot; you don’t want to get involved. You know Dean was right, you’re a coward!”

“Sticks and stones Sammy. I never claimed to be another else.” he scoffed.

“So what are you doing here?” Sam challenged firmly.

“You called remember.”

“Yeah…” Sam took a step forward, towering over the archangel. Trying to intimidate him. “But why’d you answer?”

Gabriel swallowed his pounding heart, trying hard not to show his hand. “I got tired of your damn whining voice in my head.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “I think you came because you hoped I want to fuck you again.” he spat.

Gabriel opened his mouth to argue only to find it full of Sam Winchester. The man’s monstrous hands clamping to the side of his face. Gabriel tried not to kiss back, tried not to surrender, but Sam was his damn Achilles heel. After only a few moments his defence crumbled under the onslaught of Sam’s mouth and he opened up, kissing back with as much enthusiasm as he could. His hands wrapping tight into the back of Sam’s plaid shirt, pulling him closer. His hips snapping forward seeking friction.

Then sense slammed into him. Or maybe it was Dylan yelling for him to get a grip of himself. Gabriel yanked his head back and shoved at the hunter till he landed on the bed a few feet away. “No!” he snapped furiously, his finger aimed at Sam. “Not this time asshole. I’m not your fucking bitch, Winchester. You don’t get to call me up when you’re drunk and horny, then throw your puny human weight around when you come to your sense. You want a booty call, call a fucking demon!” he yelled.

“Seriously, you’re getting moral!” Sam yelled back, leaping to his feet.

“It’s not about being moral. It’s about self-respect. I don’t like being used.”

“Funny, neither do I!”

“I wasn’t using you! That’s not what that was about dick-brain!”

“Oh really, so what was it?” Sam snarled. “Boredom? Revenge?”

“Think of it as my bucket list.”

“What?” Sam frowned confused.

“You know, a hundred things to do before you die.” Gabriel replied harshly.

“Number 98: Fuck a human?” Sam scoffed disbelievingly.

 _More like number 1: Do Sam Winchester._ Gabriel sighed. “Yeah, something like that.” he shrugged, turning away from the hunter.

The room fell eerily silent once more, the pair watching each other closely.

“Why was I on your bucket list?” Sam pressed quietly.

Gabriel spun to stare at Sam. Had he said that out loud. Fuck. He did that sometimes. He swallowed hard. “Because….I’m a fucking idiot whose been around humanity too long.”

“That’s not an answer.” Sam pressed.

“Well it’s the only one your getting. - And if this conversation is finished, I’m leaving.”

“Wait!” Sam stepped forward quickly, grabbing at the archangel’s arm. Gabriel glared. “Help us. Please.”

Gabriel didn’t bother to reply. He couldn’t. He had to get away before he gave into temptation. Before he said something he would really regret. Like maybe telling Sam he loved him.

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” Gabriel scoffed looking around at the book filled room, before turning to acknowledge the man in the leather chair.

“What are you doing here?”

Gabriel took a step towards the oak shelves, his finger running over the spines. “I came to call in your debt.” he announced matter-of-factly. Completely unaffected by the man behind him, or the silver blade.

“Oh really? How?”

“I need to know about Lucifer’s cage. Namely how to get his ass back into it.” Gabriel tugged a book out and began nonchalantly flicking through the pages.

“Why? Gabriel you can’t be thinking of letting him out?”

“Why the hell would I do that?” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Besides he’s already out. Which you’d know if you got your nose out of these books once in while.” he tossed the book in his hand aside and marched towards the now empty leaver chair, dropping into it with a huff. “You’re the only one that can tell me what I need to know….well, not the only one.” Gabriel smirked. “But well Dad’s still sunning himself on Venus or in the Bahamas or wherever he’s hiding. And apparently this isn’t _his_ problem.”

“And if I help you?” the older looking man frowned suspiciously.

Gabriel met his gaze harshly. “There really isn’t an if here, now is there? You owe me. For this.” he waved his hand around.

The man didn’t look particularly happy or convinced.

Rolling his eyes warily, Gabriel crossed his arms, slouched in the seat and huff. “Look. A little bit of information doesn’t even begin make up for getting your ass out of heaven unnoticed and pulling strings to get you set up in this nice little quiet corner of the world, but this is important, so….we’re even. If you help me now you won‘t see me again. - Now how do we get my dick of a brother back into his prison cell?” he demanded firmly.

There was a tense moment where Gabriel thought the man was actually going to deny his very polite request. Which would ultimately lead to a fight, which he would ultimately win.  Finally good sense won out through and the man huffed frustratingly and turned to vanish behind a row of bookshelves.

While he waited, he made himself comfortable in the leather armchair and considered his motives. He’d like to say it was solely about repenting for his mistakes, but the truth was he only really cared about safe three people. He’d known even before all this started he’d be the one sacrificing his life in this fight, and in all honesty he’d been okay with that. Things had just gotten a little more….important since the night Sam opened the cage. Gabriel had more of a reason to fight now than he had then. Then it had been about Sam, like it had for the past twelve years. But now it was Samandriel too. Probably more so than Sam. And he knew that if Sam was aware of Samandriel’s existence, he’d understand and agree.

Gabriel frowned down at his feet as they stretched out in front of him. Maybe Katherine was right. Maybe he should tell Sam. He did deserve to know, and if Gabriel wasn’t making it through this fight then someone was going to have to protect Samandriel from the wrath of heaven. Who better than his father.

Before he could tell Sam though he’d have to hide Katherine and Samandriel away, safe. Until all this shit is over. He played with the idea of bring them here, but he wasn’t completely sure he could trust his old friend. He wouldn’t put it past the man to bargain Samandriel’s life for his own. - Especially as the Sammy was the son of Sam Winchester. He had no doubt heaven and hell would love to get their hands on him. What he needed was someone who shared his desire to just….live. Someone who didn’t want to get involved with what heaven and hell had planned. Someone who wanted to lay back and enjoy the ride, much has he had in those early days.

“This is all I have….” the old man said, stepping out from the stacks. A scrap of notepaper in his hand.

Gabriel leapt to his feet, snatching the paper and scanning it. “The Horseman?” he frowned.

The man shrugged nonchalantly, marching angrily back to his armchair.

“Thank you.” Gabriel said softly.

“How are you going to get him inside once its open?”

Gabriel met the man’s gaze. “Anyway I have to.” he replied firmly. Nodding once again, he vanished.

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

“Enjoying the high life I see?” Gabriel smirked, leaning against a tree over looking a large swimming pool. His gaze flickering over three very attractive young women, and a equally attractive pool boy.

“Who are you?” the blond in the pool asked, straightening defensively. His English accent cut glass clear over the giggles of the girls.

“Take a good look and tell me?” Gabriel laughed, strolling over to sit on the lounger, taking a drink from the table beside him.

“Gabriel? I….I thought you were dead?”

Gabriel shrugged. “The same could be said for you.”

The man stiffened, suddenly nervous. “I’m not going back.”

“I don’t want you to. Couldn’t care less if you want to hang out in a luxury mansion surrounded by beautiful bikini clad women. Hell I’ve been here, seen this….I think I still have the t-shirt at home.” he chuckled.

The wet angel relaxed, waving his hand at his guests and asking them to give him a few minutes. When they were all gone, he climbed out of the pool and moved to the other seat. “So what do you want?”

“You know the shit with Lucifer’s coming to a head? - Soon.”

The man nodded forlornly, lifting his drink.

“Well I’m got some information that might actually put big brother back in the pit.”

The blonds blue eyes widened with surprised. “So?”

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to ask for your sword arm.” Gabriel sighed. “Believe me, if I had a choice I would be living it up right alone with ya, bro. - But…I don’t.” he said solemnly.

“I’m here to make you an offer.”

“What kind of offer?” the blond frowned, leaning forward.

“I’ve got some stuff that might make living this high life you’ve set up a more permanent fixture.”

“Meaning. This guys loaded. I don’t have to worry about money.”

Gabriel shook his head. “No, but you have to worry about heaven finding your ass. - I’ve been in hiding a long time, buddy. I know a lot of tricks.” he smirked. “And a lot of thing that will keep you safe should certain people come looking.”

The angel straightened with interest. “What’s the price?”

Gabriel lowered the glass he’d been playing with but hadn’t drunk back to the table. “I’ve got some….people. Dependents you can call them. I want you to look out for them.”

“You want me to play babysitter?”

“No. I just want your word that if they come to you for help, you’ll do everything in your power to protect them.”

“From?”

“Our mutual friends.” Gabriel huffed, glancing to the sky.

The blond sat back on the chair staring across at the archangel. “You’re not planning on surviving this then?”

“Highly doubtful.”

“What makes you think you can trust me?”

“The fact that you just ask that question for one. - And believe me, I’m not an idiot. Like I said, I have been doing this a _long_ time. You don’t think I know how to make a deal.” he smirked, brow raised.

There was a long pause, both men weighing the other up and deciding they liked one another.

“Okay. Deal.”

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

“What do you mean we have to leave?” Katherine frowned, watching as Gabriel threw Samandriel’s toys into a box on the couch.

“Come on Kathy, you knew you’d have to go somewhere eventually. Unless you’ve come up with an excuse for how Alfie’s going from nought to seven in a matter of weeks? He’s not going to stop aging for a while yet.”

Katherine glanced over at the boy, helping his dad pack his things. He really had shot up in the past couple of months. It was still hard to process.

“Believe me, he’ll be fine.” Gabriel said gently, lifting his eyes to watch her. “Travellin’s in his blood.” he added meaningfully.

“Where are we going?” she asked in a whispered, resigned to the inevitable.

“I found somewhere safe for you both in Wyoming. And I have someone for you to call in case of emergencies.”

Katherine’s gaze hardened instantly. “Meaning?”

Gabriel swallowed hard. “Hey kiddo, you keep this up okay, me and mom are going to start on the bedrooms.” he nodded before leading Katherine out of ear shot. “This is it for me, okay. You know that.”

The young woman paled instantly. “Does….Sam know?”

“Not yet. I’ll tell him everything as soon as I’ve got you both settled.”

“Everything?”

Gabriel smiled warmly. “Everything.”

Katherine relaxed somewhat, though there were tears pooling in her eyes. “And this someone to watch us?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Gabriel shook his head. “He won’t know where you are. I’ll leave you his number and an alternative way to get hold of him in you really need to. Otherwise, you stay away.”

“You don’t trust him?” Katherine frowned.

“I trust him enough not to renege on our deal, but not any more than that.”

The room fell silent, the pair sat on the end of Katherine’s bed staring into space. Katherine shifted closer, her head dropping onto Gabriel’s shoulder. He turned his head and pressed a kiss to her forehead, closing his eyes.

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

Five hours later Gabriel was settling his family into their new home. A large one story farmhouse with a large field on either side. It sat a few miles from the nearest town which was the whole point. Gabriel had already made sure the place was demon and angel proof. He’d learnt from the mistakes of his brothers. It wouldn’t be so easy to find his son.

He was unpacking boxes when the whispers reached him. He should have seen it coming but well he was a little distracted.

“I’ve got to go.” he said suddenly, leaping to his feet from where he was crouched beside a large brown box.

Katherine looked at him intently. “Gabe?”

“Sam’s in trouble.” he clarified, trying to keep the panic and fear from his tone.

“How do you know?” she frowned, rushing towards him from across the room.

“Lets just say I have my ear to the ground.”

Katherine stared at him with growing concern. “Is he?” she swallowed.

“Not yet, and he won’t be if I have my way. - You know what to do if you don’t hear from me.” he reminded her firmly.

Katherine nodded. Tears slipping down her cheeks.

“Everything you need is in that box.” he nodded to the large wooden chest set against the far wall. “Don’t use it unless you really have to. If you feel your in danger leave. They won’t be able to track you.”

Katherine nodded again. “How are you going to find Sam? Do you know where he is?”

Gabriel shook his head. “Luckily I have the worlds best GPS. Alfie!”

Katherine frowned at the little boy came running in from the bedroom out the back.

“Yeah Dad?” he smiled. Looking between his parents.

Gabriel dropped to his knees in from of the boy, bracing his face between his hands and looking into his sons eyes. “Alfie, Kiddo, can you tell me where Sam is?”

Gabriel and Katherine had never hidden what Samandriel was from him, or who his parents were. It had been a complicated and weird conversation and they’d left out a lot of the more….adult parts. It was probably no different to the conversation going on in households around the words with a surrogate mom and two dads. Though the fact that Samandriel was half angel was a little bit more unique to explain. But Samandriel had taken it in his stride, had asked a few questions and then had run off to watch The Simpson’s.

He watched Samandriel close his eyes, his brows drawing together. If it wasn’t such a serious situation Gabriel may have actually laughed at the look of utter concentration on his sons face. Samandriel tilted his head slightly, listening. While Sam and Dean were off the angelic radar, Sammy’s bond with his father was instinctual. It was more of a psychic connection. It didn’t take the boy long to give Gabriel a location. Katherine’s home-schooling proving exceptional.

“Thanks Kiddo.” Gabriel grinned, kissing his forehead. “I’ve got to go, okay. So you need to take care of your mom.” he pulled Samandriel into a tight hug, reluctantly to let him go. Turning his head into the little boy’s hair, he inhaled deeply. His eyes closed as he stored the scent away in his memory. He could feel the tears burning behind his eyes and tightened his jaw painfully. “I love you.”

“Are you going to help Daddy Sam?” Samandriel asked as Gabriel released him.

“Yep. Because you know he’s always getting himself into messes. He’d be lost without me.” Gabriel winked.

“Wait.” Samandriel pulled away and rushed off back to his room. Gabriel frowning in his wake.

Getting back to his feet, Gabriel turned to Katherine, pulling her into a hug.

“Try to come back to us Gabe.” Katherine whispered into his cheek.

“Believe me, I really will.”

“I love you. - And Dylan. You hear me in there.” she tapped at the side of Gabriel head.

I love you too.

“He says ditto.” Gabriel sniffled. “And so do I.” he pressed a kiss to her lips. It wasn’t passionate, but it was loving.

“Here! Here!” Samandriel yelled running back in holding a piece of paper. “Here.” he panted handing it to Gabriel.

Gabriel unwrapped himself from Katherine, and took the paper, looking down at the crayon drawing of Sam and Dean fighting a giant monster. Sam towering miles over his brother. Clearly he’d told his son too many stories. But he’d had to explain why Sam wasn’t there. His heart clenching tight.

“It’s for dad. Can you give it to him?”

Gabriel nodded; his throat to clogged up to speak. He yanked Samandriel to his stomach, hugging him tight, burying his face into the top of his head. Clearing his throat a moment later he choked out an “I will son. He’ll love it. Just like he loves you.” Guilt curled up in the pit of Gabriel stomach, but he knew he was telling the truth. If Sam knew, he’d love their son as much as Gabriel and Katherine did. “Okay. I better go. I love you both.” with another quick hug and kiss each, Gabriel left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, which means its time for the worst part of the story. You’ll all know what I mean. I really don’t want to write it but I haven’t got a choice. Sorry. Part of the plot.


	4. When The Final Petal Falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Farewell to Gabriel

Gabriel stared at the motel. He didn’t need to step inside to know who was there. He could practically feel the energy humming through the thick brick walls. In the wind and the trees, and the earth beneath his feet. A feeling he’d known for centuries. It had been what made his hiding that much easier. Tapping into that power at been a walk in the park, it was everywhere and his it was a part of him because it was a part of his father. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath. If they were here with the Winchesters something was happening. And it wasn’t going to end well.

Taking a few steps he froze beside the Impala, looking at his reflection in the darkened window. He straightened his back, forced the carefree smile. He could do this. Get the brother’s out without blowing his cover. It was bad enough Heaven knew he was alive, it these gods discovered the lie he’s made them believe for so long. Well Sam hating his guts would be the least of his problems.

When Gabriel walked into the banquet room his heart almost stopped. Not from the fear of his true identity being reveal by Sam’s loose lips, not even by the sight of his ex Kali watching him as she stood beside Balder. No it was because Sam had looked at him for that brief second when he’d walked into the room with such relief and almost happiness at seeing him that it had taken his breath away. - Then he’d taken the pairs voices because apparently they didn’t understand the concept of incognito.

He stepped causally past them and hated the way Sam aftershave hit his senses like a punch to the gut. Instantly bring to mind the memory of the man’s lips. The feel of his body crowding into him, over him. Invading him so completely. It took all his will to force those thoughts away; he couldn’t risk the gods - Kali. - seeing his weakness. Knowing that Sam Winchester meant something to him. He wasn’t sure what she’d do if she knew. It wasn’t like they’d ever been truly serious. No, now he was lying to himself and that wasn’t fair to her. Once, he’d loved her. As much as he’d thought himself capable. Then things changed. His brothers had heard rumours, had hunted for him, and in order to hide he’s switched vessels. He’d gone to high school and met a shy yet strong young man who was destin to destroy the world, and he’d discover what love actually was. And it paled in comparison to what he’d felt for Kali.

Now he had to play the part. Carefree trickster. Scorned lover. Whatever it took to get Sam out of that place alive. Turning away from his so-called fellow gods he met Sam’s gaze, hoped he saw what he was doing. Hoped he understood. “The adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later.” meeting Sam’s questioning gaze Gabriel raised his hands and clicked his fingers. Sighing inwardly with relief when the boys vanished. There had been a chance that they’d be bound to wherever Kali was.

“So what’s the master plan?” Gabriel grinned, turning back to the group. “Hand the pair over and hope the archangels go back to their play pen and leave the rest of us alone? Come on, you know those feather brained dicks aren’t just going to keep to their own side of the playground. Or haven’t you been paying attention the last two thousand years?”

  

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

It didn’t take Gabriel long to switch himself out for an illusion. It was kind of embarrassing for them if he was honest. Especially considering Kali’s reputation. So much for striping back illusions. He shook his head sadly. He arrived in the brother’s room as Dean was having one of his infamous freak-outs, the ones he had when he didn’t understand what was going on. Which was pretty often being he was an idiot. “When have _you_ ever been lucky.” he announced light-heartedly. The God-Squad weren’t the only ones he had to play a part for. He lounged comfortably on the couch, watching Dean glare at him almost furiously.

“You know what? Bite me, Gabriel.”

“Maybe later, big boy.” he gripped back, getting to his feet. Though he’d rather bite the hunter’s baby brother and going by the hard look Sam was giving him, he knew it too. Which had the archangel’s heart skipping. Clearing his throat he forced his attention back to Dean.

“I should’ve known. This had your stink all over it from the jump.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. Like he said, Dean Winchester was an idiot. “You think I’m behind this? _Please_. I’m the Costner to your Houston. I’m here to save your ass.”

“You wanna pull us out of the fire?” Dean scoffed disbelievingly.

Of course it wasn’t a surprise Dean didn’t believe him. He really had no reason too after all. Maybe if he knew about his fling with baby bro then maybe he’d understand. “Bingo. These gods are gonna dust you or use you as bait. Either way, you’re uber-boned.”

He tried not to look at Sam while Dean ranted on about his sudden change of position. Who only a few months ago he’d wanted them to ‘play their roles’. Well things had changed since then. And that hadn’t been about getting the brothers to say yes. Not really. It had been about making sure they didn’t say yes. It had been about getting them worked up to fight harder. Cause if there was one thing he knew about the pair it was that they’d do the exact opposite than they were told. And maybe a little about punishing Sam. Not for releasing Lucifer, he’d known that would happen. It was that jealous spark the hunter’s fling with that demon bitch had sparked to life. He was kinda surprised Sam hadn’t worked that out. Hadn’t he realised that he was the one getting all the pain. Gabriel smirked inwardly and he forced his attention back to the problem at hand. “Oh the end is still nigh. Michael and Lucifer are gonna dance the Lambadi but not tonight, not here.”  he wasn’t sure if Sam saw through the act he was putting on for Dean. Though the way he looked like he wanted to rip Gabriel’s head clean off said he couldn’t. Which surprisingly hurt.

“And why do you care?” Dean demanded.

Gabriel turned sharply to face the pair. “I _don’t_ care….” he lied. “But me and Kali, we had a thing.” he let his gaze linger on Sam for a long moment, trying to see if there was so much as a hint of the green eyed monster. “Chick’s all hands.” he laughed luridly. Smirking at the green glow in Sam’s hard glare. “What can I say, I’m sentimental.” He had to admit it felt good to see the younger Winchester react to the idea that he wasn’t the first.

“Do they have a change against Satan?” Sam demanded too calmly. His hazel eyes locked with Gabriel’s.

Gabriel raised a brow, watching the younger man. He wondered if Sam was even aware of the looks he was throwing at Gabriel. Dean was certainly blind to them, but then Dean never paid any attention to what was blatantly obviously and right in front of him. Cass could testify to that.

“Really Sam?” Dean said sharply causing the younger hunter to turn. Breaking their connection.

“You got a better idea.”

Gabriel was stepping forward before he even realized it. Almost into Sam’s personal space. Getting up in his face with hard eyes. “It’s a _bad_ idea.” he stated firmly. His eyes narrow. “Lucifer’s gonna turn them into finger putty. So let’s get you out while the going is good.”

Sam met his gaze and Gabriel swallowed at the knowing in the man’s green eyes.

“Okay, great. Why don’t you just zap us out of here?” Dean nodded.

Gabriel paused a second before turning his attention to Dean. The mask back in place. “Would if I could but Kali’s got you by the short and curliest. It’s a blood spell. You boys are on a leash.”

“What does that mean?” Dean demanded angrily.

“It means its time for a little of that old black magic.” Gabriel announced dramatically. He knew he was over playing it, mostly because he’d liked that brief glimmer of jealousy in Sam’s eyes. Like the idea what whether the younger hunter wanted to or no, he did at least feel….something. He sprayed the breathe freshener theatrically.

“Okay, we’re gonna take the hors d’oeuvres in the freezer with us.” Dean insisted.

“Forget it!” Gabriel snapped, his gaze snapping to Dean angrily. “It’s gonna be hard enough sneaking you mooks out of here.”

“They called you Loki, right? Which means they don’t really know who you are.” Dean threatened.

“Told you. I’m in witness protection.” There were times like this that Gabriel wished he’d left Dean dead. That he hadn’t let Sam tug at his heartstrings. It would have made everything so much easier. And frankly, as with everything Gabriel has done for the past twelve years, if it wasn’t for Sam, he’d split and let the pair get dished up as a main course. But he’d made a promise to Samandriel and to himself. Damn Winchesters. He wished he’d never met them.

“Okay then, how about you do what we say or we tell the legion of doom about your secret identity. They don’t seem like a pro-angel kind of crowd.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the pair. “I’ll take you voices.” he countered.

“We’ll write it down.”

“I’ll cut off your hands.”

“Then people are gonna be asking, why are you guys running around with no hand.”

He really did _hate_ Dean Winchester. Just in case he hadn’t mentioned that. “Fine.” he gritted out.

“Excellent.” Dean grinned proudly. Smug and infuriating.

Gabriel watched the hunter march past him and into the small bathroom, leaving him alone with Sam. Gabriel turned back to the younger man to find himself being watched intently. His eyes narrowed. Gabriel shifted on his feet, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

“Why are you really here?” Sam finally asked in a hushed voice.

“I told you, I’m here to pull your asses out of the fire.”

Sam narrowed his gaze further. “Why?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, walking past the younger man with a heavy sigh. Like it wasn’t obvious. “What do you want me to say, Sammy?” he looked up at him with a raised brow. “You don’t want to hear it. We both know that.”

Sam cleared his throat, turning away from him, glancing nervously towards the bathroom. “So….Kali?”

Gabriel smirked at the catch in the hunter’s voice. “What can I say, not everyone finds the idea of sex with me repulsive.” his tone was teasing bit the underlining meaning crystal clear.

“Would she feel the same if she knew who you really were? Clearly you have a habit of lying to the people you sleep with.” he grunted angrily.

Gabriel glared furiously but knew his righteous anger was misplace. Sam had every reason to be pissed at him, that didn’t make it any better.

He hadn’t meant to lie to Sam. At least not that first time. They’d only been kids, and it wasn’t like Sam would have believed him, right? Not at fourteen years old. Despite his being a hunter. The second time. In New York. Okay he’d planned on lying that time. But let’s face it; it wasn’t like Sam would have given him so much as a hello if he’d told him the truth then. And it wasn’t like the man hadn’t enjoyed their night together. - Despite his protests to the contrary. So maybe he’d been selfish, but he wasn’t going to apologize for wanting to spend a night with the only human worth his time and affection. The only person he’d ever….loved.

A sound from the bathroom drew Gabriel’s attention and he fixed his mask of indifference back into place once again. He watched Sam do the same. Putting space between them by crossing the room to the window, turning his back to him.

“You still here?” Dean grumbled angrily, returning to the room. “Don’t you have a god to manipulate?”

Gabriel fixed the hunter with a hard unimpressed glare. “Be ready to split. If you haven’t got the lunch menu out of the freeze by the time I’ve got the blood, we’re going without them.” his tone hard and commanding for the first time. With a final too brief look at Sam, he clicked his fingers.

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

Gabriel wouldn’t exactly pride himself on his planning abilities, but he’ had thought it would work. He’d allowed himself arrogantly to think it would be a piece of cake getting the blood from Kali. It wasn’t like she’d ever thought twice about taking him up on his seductions before. He’d thought a couple of smooth words, a nice romantic meal, a show of concern for her safety would be enough to fool her. He hadn’t expected her to turn the tables on him. He guessed he’d never given her enough credit.

That however didn’t mean he didn’t have a back-up plan, and while Kali wasn’t as foolish as he’d let himself believe, the others were. It was all too easy giving them the slip. Switching himself once again. While his illusion was dragged into the banquet room, Gabriel went to warn Sam and Dean only to arrive too late. He stood behind a post and watched at they were dragged away. Inhaling deeply, Gabriel let his head fall back against the wall. Closing his eyes and channelling though his illusion. Glancing at Sam as he was dragged back into the room. Listening as Kali outed him in front of them all.

He sucked in a sickened breath as Kali pulled the supposed angel blade from his jacket. The look of hatred and anger in her eyes stealing his breath. He could almost believe the apology in her eyes as she thrust the blade into his chest, if it hadn’t been for the fact that she was killing him. - Or at least she thought she was. Rubbing a hand over his face, he slipped out of the building, at the sound footsteps. He needed to regroup. To figure out how he was going to get them both out of there.

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

He lay in the backseat of the Impala. It was surprisingly the safest place for him right now. He still hadn’t thought of a way to get Sam and his brother out of the hotel, and time was swiftly running out. It wouldn’t be long before Lucifer got to them, especially now they were planning of taking him out. Thanks once again to the idiot Winchester. Closing his eyes Gabriel inhaled slowly, a sick feeling pooling in his stomach. He’s seen this hadn’t he. A year ago, he’d laid in his bed and known how this whole thing was going to play out. Maybe not the details, but he’d know it was going to cost him his life. That his stupid infatuation with Sam Winchester was going to be the death of him.

But he wasn’t going to die for Sam. Not solely. There was Katherine and Samandriel now. There was no way he could have foreseen that twist in the golden threat of his destiny. Assuming of course that an angel could have a destiny. He’d never really thought about it. Now through he couldn’t shake the question. Did he have a destiny? Was it coincidence or fate that had him in New York twelve years ago. He could have gone anywhere. Could have hidden out among Tibetan monks until the whole thing had blown over. He could have ignore that fearful whispered prayer, just as he’d done for a thousand years. Why had Katherine been the voice that reached him through the din? Why had John Winchester decided to abandon his sons to that small corner of the city? Why that school? Why that time?

Gabriel swallowed breathlessly. He’d been there when the others had fallen. Not Lucifer and his cohorts, the others. The ones that feel after. He’d hated them then. He’d looked down on them with disgust and shame. He’d failed to understand why his brother had given up their eternity for some human woman. He’d listened to Michael condemn them with the same tongue that condemned Lucifer. As If their crimes were the same. And like all younger brothers who idolised their older, wiser brother, he’d believed every word. He’d been at Michael’s side when the order was passed. He’d led the garrison in the hunt for the fallen’s sons and daughters. He’d raised his hand and smote so many without thought or guilt. He had their blood still on his hands, even after all this time.

Gabriel sat up in the backseat and blinked down at his hands. The blood was gone now but the stain remained. Like lady Macbeth. Forever marked upon his skin. Only now it burnt his ass. He was one of them now. At least in part. He hadn’t fallen because of Sam, but he had committed the same sin as his fallen brothers. He loved a human. An impure imperfect, flawed human. And together they’d created something. Something pure in a different way. Perfect in its imperfection and nothing would ever convince him that it was wrong. That Samandriel was an abomination. Their son was a gift. Like every child born; whether born of man or angel. Human or Nephilim. And if he’s father or brothers condemn him, so be it. Because for a few too short years he understood.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of running feet and the yell of a familiar voice. Glancing around he watched the human hostages running for their lives. Escaping the death Kali and the others had planned for them. His eyes fixed on Dean and he felt hope surge to the service. He could almost thank his father but he doubted he was listening.

Slouching down into the seat so as not to be seen he hissed at the hunter, noting with glee the surprise in the man’s features. “Act natural. Get in.”

Dean climbed into the front seat and he couldn’t help but wish it had been Sam that had come. There was so much he wanted to say to the man. To confess before it was too late.

“There’s nothing natural about this at all. Thought you were dead?”

Gabriel smirked. “You think I’d give Kali my real sword? That thing can kill me.”

Dean glared. “then what do they have in there?”

“A _fake_.” Gabriel grinned smugly. “I made it out of a can of diet orange slice. - So uh…go snag the blood would you.”

“What?” Dean frowned.

“I heard you in there, Kali likes you. You can get close. Lift the plasma and them we vamoose.”

“No. - Hand over the real blade. Better yet sack up and help us take down Lucifer.”

Gabriel stared at the hunter. Was he serious? “You can’t be serious?”

“Deadly.”

“Since when are you butt buddies with a bunch of monsters? That’s all they are to you, aren’t they?”

“You know what, Sam was right. It’s nuts but it’s the best idea I’ve heard. So unless you have a better one?”

Gabriel opened his mouth to tell him that yes actually he did. But it was gonna lead to questions. Questions he was pretty sure Sam wouldn’t appreciate him answering and he really didn’t want to make things worse between him and the younger Winchester. “Well good luck with that.” Gabriel huffed, settling back into the seat. “Me? I’m blowing Jonestown. The lemmings wanna run off the cliff that’s their business.”

“I see right through you, you know that.” Dean murmured.

Gabriel swallowed hard. His gaze fixed on the hunter. Did he really? Could he know the real reason Gabriel was there, putting his life on the line? Had Sam told him? No. The younger man was too ashamed of what had happened between them to ever confess to the big brother he idolized.

“The smart-ass shell. The whole I could give a crap thing. Believe me, takes one to know one.”

“That so?” Gabriel smirked.

“Yes. Maybe those freaks aren’t blood, but they are family.”

Gabriel released a breath, relaxing in his seat. He didn’t know. His secret was safe, and he was happy to keep it that way. “They just stabbed me in the friggin’ heart.” let Dean believe Kali and the others were the family he was trying to protect. Now wasn’t the time to inform the hunter that he was an uncle. And him and Sam were the family he was really trying to save.

“Maybe, but you still give a crap about them don’t you?”

Yeah, right. Okay so maybe he didn’t want to see Kali get ripped to pieces by his brother but well she’d made her choice and his priorities were clear. “Dean.”

“They’re gonna die in there without you.”

Gabriel met Dean’s angry, determined hazel eyes, so like Sam’s. “I can’t kill my brother.”

“Can’t or Won’t?”

Like he was one to talk. Dean had been given how many chances to stop this before it started? His father had ordered him to kill his brother and he’d refused stubbornly, and Gabriel knew without a doubt that given that choice again, Dean would do it just the same. Even knowing what it would cost the world. Because to the man family was everything. Yet here he was expecting Gabriel to turn on his brother.

“That’s what I thought!” Dean spat before he could counter. The hunter climbing out of the car.

Gabriel sat in the middle of the backseat, staring at his hands. His brothers hadn’t fought to protect their families. They hadn’t even tired to hide their children from heaven’s gaze. They hadn’t thrown themselves in front of blades for the ones they’d supposedly loved. Gabriel carried the stain of those innocent young lives, but so too did their fathers and mothers. Gabriel would not make their mistake. He’d already fought to keep Samandriel safe, now he had to protect Sam, and Dean.

 _“Come on Gabe, we both know there’s no real choice here.”_ Dylan’s voice startled him in the silence.

“Sorry Dylan. I never thought it would come to this.” he lied.

“Hey man. I signed up for this remember? I could have split in New York if I really wanted out of the fight.”

“That really doesn’t make me feel any better.” Gabriel scoffed.

 _“I know. But hey, the last twelve years have been a hell of a ride.”_ Dylan laughed. The voice vibrating through Gabriel’s mind. _“And you gave me so much man. I wasn’t exactly in the best of places, remember?”_

Gabriel rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“Gabe, this isn’t just about Sam, Samandriel and Kath. It’s the rest of the world too. Who’d turn down saving the world man. From junkie to savoir. Sound pretty awesome to me.”

“Yeah. You’ve been a good friend Dylan. And if there was another….”

“I know. Now can we save the world?”

“There’s something we need to do first.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

 

**~~~Unrequited Sabriel: What Rough Beasts Our Sins Make~~~**

 

It didn’t take Gabriel very long to tie up his final loose end. Two DVD’s. One for Katherine and Samandriel. Informing them that he wouldn’t be returning. That it was over but that he loved them both. The other was for Sam and Dean telling them what he’d discovered. About the rings. The cage. He wanted to tell Sam so many things in that video but it wasn’t for Dean’s hearing. So he hid the message. An Easter egg for Sam to find.

He could feel Lucifer’s presence before he stepped foot back into the hotel. And he knew his brother would feel him too. So there was no hiding. No sneaking up on him. But he had a plan. One that would probably fail but he had to try. And maybe his father would be on his side this once.

He found Sam and Dean behind a table. His brother only a few feet away.

“Are you okay?” Sam breathlessly asked his brother.

“No really.” Gabriel replied with a small shrug. “Better late than never, huh?” his gaze flickering between the brother before settling on Sam for a long moment. His breath catching in his chest. Everything in him wanted to lean across and kiss him. Better yet, zap them both out of there and hid away, but that really wasn’t an option. So instead he tore his gaze away from the younger man and slammed the DVD into Dean’s chest. “Guard this with your life.” then he was on his feet. Gone before he had a change to think and run. Before he said something Sam would never forgive him for. Not that it was going to matter if he was going to die anyway.

It took him only second to switch himself with another illusion. Listen from only a few feet away. Hidden from view as his other self took up a defensive position between his brother and the table. Sword raised. “Lucy, I’m home.”

He watched as his brother got to his feet and marched angrily back towards him. His other self moving that much closer to kali, and the table. “Not this time.” it warned, bowing to help the goddess to her feet. Keeping her close after all they wouldn’t be able to leave without her. “Guys! Get her out of here!” the illusion called and Gabriel watched Sam as they moved towards his other side. As the other Gabriel handed over the goddess to their protection. That warmth spread through his chest as he caught the hint of jealousy once again in Sam’s eyes. Maybe there was hope. If he actually survived this. He watched Sam linger a little longer at the door than necessary and part of him wanted to go, click his fingers and vanish. But this was his change and he had to take it. For Sam. For their son. - For the world.

 

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, still not the end of the series. I’m sorry for killing Gabriel but I’m trying to stay as close to canon as my fic-verse will allow, and there a tone of stuff I wouldn’t be able to do if Gabriel survived. But I can promise you he’ll be back. Until then the series will be picked up from Sam POV. Thanks for reading and you’re kudos. I hope you continue to enjoy this universe. See you again soon.


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